Looking Back


The last twelve months for me have been tumultuous. In a list of stressful life events, I moved house, partly down to family breakdown, in the process relocating to a new part of the country. Furthermore, I lost my mother suddenly and unexpectedly and this came shortly after I made changes to my medication which caused enormous negative side-effects, which saw me hospitalised twice. I also had to discontinue my studies due to ill health at one point.

However, positives can be taken from 2013. There are things in my life that I can be proud of. I can be proud that I took action to care for my grandmother when others sat back and watched her in pain. I can be proud that I indeed made the decision to change my medication, with a long term view of the health benefits. I can also be proud of the internet audience and following that I have built using social networking sites like Twitter.com , plus.google.com, wordpress.com and facebook.com. But the my proudest moments of the year, is the self-publishing of my first and second poetry collections. If a newspaper headline were to describe this past year for me it would read something along the lines of MAN FORGES WORDS FROM STRIFE.

Nonetheless, I had business to deal with in 2013, that as yet remains unfinished. I found myself to be at the heaviest I have ever weighed, an embarrassing figure which I will choose not to write here. I made strides to lose this, and succeeding in losing over a stone inside the first five weeks; however, what with Christmas, poor health and the loss of my mother, the battle continues and I make it my aim to get right back on track at some point in the near future.

Life possesses a way to enthrall, and in my opinion I think that I was most excited when embarking on a new chapter in my life. In March of 2013, I was saddened to hear of the shooting of a young man who went through high school with my step-son. I made the choice on that day, that I would not let the same or similar happen to my children. We as a family relocated from Bootle to Cornwall, to give our children a liberty and safer environment to grow into young adults. It was at this point I was most excited during the whole of 2013, more so than on the day of each of my books release.

Taking a look back over the last year, there are more positives than negatives for me. That being said, there are things that I would have liked to have done differently. I made numerous attempts to assist my mother with her battle with alcohol, and I wish I could have done more to help her. In the end she died alone and estranged from her family which will always hurt. All the same, there is only so much one could have done, and I can sleep at night knowing that I tried, many times over, but could not reach her.

I have stated that my proudest moment of the year was becoming a self-published author. I can honestly say that this has been a long standing dream of mine, to make a living out of words. As an angsty teenager I thought I may become a songwriter, but I never had the talent. And I have grown and matured since, but the dream of wanting to touch people with my words has never dimmed and the two books that I published are in fact the highest point I have yet reached professionally. In addition to this I am studying the craft, and improving all the time. I hope at some point in my future to be able to make a living from my work.

I was held back early in the year when my illness took a hold of me, and as a result I was unable to continue with the course I was studying at the time. I am maddened that I allowed my health to determine something of nature. As a result of the enforced change in my studies, I made the bold decision to study creative writing, earlier than anticipated. I was, I felt drowning in coursework that was disinteresting and, although I am being tested more now than ever before, my work is exciting to me. With it, this course has brought a lot of new people into my life, like minded creative people, and we use each other to spur each other on. So, here is to a great new and exciting year ahead, which may include a plane and a rabbit, if plans stay as they are at this minute.


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